I am not making this up...

OK, about three months ago, our 1996 Lumina's transmission broke.  We had it towed to a transmission repair shop where they told us they'd look at it for $400.  That's on top of the $90 tow.  On a really ugly car.  The car in which I'd spilled spaghetti sauce and Italian dressing and could never get clean.  The car with only one working seat belt in the back (see spill above.) 

Bud, the owner, did tell us that if we decided to fix it, the $490 would go toward that cost.  So we know we are looking at a pretty hefty repair bill.  On a car with a blue book value of $450 if it runs.  And at this point it did run, but only backwards.

So Bob asked Bud if he knew anyone who might want to buy the car.  Bud grumbled something that sounded negative, but one of Bud's employees (Dave) told Bob he'd give Bob $150 and pay for the tow.  Great.

AND SO, Bob and I take off from work and go get a copy of the title.  We take it back and get ready to sign over the poor old Lumina to Dave.  UNFORTUNATELY, Dave didn't have the money then.  He'd get his check cashed and get with us on Monday.  OK.

Bob takes off on Monday and goes to see Dave, who had had a family emergency over the weekend.  (I think his cousin Jose Cuervo showed up, but what do I know?)  He did not have the money.

Bob and Dave dance this dance for a couple of weeks, with Bob taking off from work to meet Dave, only to get a last minute phone call.  In the meantime, poor Dave is having one family emergency after another.  (I'm thinking it was his brother Jack Daniels & his uncle Captain Morgan, but I'm cynical.)

And it turns out that Dave can't buy the car, but his buddy Adrian can.  And he will get Bob the money as soon as his fiance gets their bank account unfrozen. 

This has gone on a long long time, and at this point I don't care.  I was about to call SCETV and get them to pick up the car and sell it for whatever they can get.  Bud seemed to think we would pay the tow if the "deal" fell through.  Bud was mistaken.

But now, as of today, the car is missing.  I am not making this up.  Adrian (or is it Dave) thinks it was stolen (who the hell is going to steal a 1996 Lumina that only goes backwards?)  Bob told Bud that we needed to know if he was in the city or county, because we needed to know where to file the police report.  Bud said Dave is going to pay Bob anyway.  And then Bud said he saw pigs fly... but I think that was cousin Jose again.