Friday, October 24, 2008

Oprah says I'm OK

I read the newest issue of Oprah this week, all about being beautiful from the inside out. And even though I read it while drinking 20 oz of Magnesium Citrate and pooping every ounce of everything in my body, it turns out I am fairly well balanced and happy. Who'd a thought it?

I really like Oprah magazine. The articles. I ignore the cute little must haves, like the clutches that are "so affordable at $300 a piece you need one in every color." Oprah has really left the red dirt behind her, huh? Oh well, good for her. I skip to Martha Beck.

So anyway...

What I am and what I want to be isn't as far apart as I'd thought. I want to lose weight and be healthier, but I'm not as far off my goal as I'd been making myself think.

I am a neurotic, introverted over-thinker, but I pretty much know how to deal with myself. (My counselor gave me a great way to deal with my neurotic thoughts. I say: oh look, I'm being neurotic. The world doesn't revolve around me. Wah! Wah!--- I added the Wah! Wah! part, but it works for me.)

I still haven't been able to separate my should do list from my to do list, but I'm working on it.

I can take myself out in public without embarrassing myself.

I listen to people, really, and not just to think of what I'm going to say in response.

What revelations!

Hmmm... Oprah and a colonoscopy prep... the new spirit journey.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Just a note...

As predicted, I survived and feel fine. I lost 10 lbs and am trying to eat lean protein and veggies for awhile to savor the loss.

I am back at work, up to my ears in things no one but me can do, so I'll sign off.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Big Day

Today I have my colonoscopy. In about 6 hours, I will be home eating something. Anything.

Since my appointment is at 1:30, I haven't been able to eat or drink since midnight. I have a terrible headache, and have been using an ice pack. I would kill for green jello.

I have decided that the colonoscopy prep is like childbirth. The first time you decide to do it, you are a little nervous because you've heard bad things, but you know people do it all the time and you get something good from it. During the actual prep/labor, you wonder what in the hell you were thinking and why didn't anyone tell you it was this bad? You cry, promise to eat fiber/use birth control and never ever to do this again.

Then you forget. And the time comes to do it again, and you only remember the good feelings of knowing you don't have cancer/having a baby. You sign up with enthusiasm. You share war stories with others who have done it, but in the jocular way of very old soldiers who spent the war in supply huts & wine bars far from a real battle.

Then it starts for real. And you remember that it really really sucks. You remember that it is banned by the Geneva convention. You promise to eat fiber/use birth control and never ever go near a doctor or a man again.

But then it's over and you have a clean bill of health or a new baby, and you think, that wasn't so bad, was it?

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Sunday morning

It is finally fall here, although I think it may warm up again next week. The dogwood leaves are beginning to turn red to match their berries. Everything else is still green.

I am hoping that the next couple of weeks will be fairly uneventful. I need a break. This is the time for cleaning the office and preparing it for TAX SEASON, cleaning the house and preparing for Christmas, cleaning my brain and preparing for the new year.

Right now, I am sitting here, thinking about nothing much. Watching the neighbors walk their dogs. Watching my cat sleep.

Soon, Mark and I will make pumpkin muffins for Muffins for Moms tomorrow at Carolina School for Inquiry. I won't be able to eat them tomorrow since I'll be on a liquid diet to prepare for my colonoscopy, but I'll eat one today. I'll go to work later, both jobs, to make up for the time I'll miss next week.

OK, get moving... have a nice week!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

April 15 revisited

On April 15th, we calmly met taxpayers at the door with a smile and an extension form. Most were filed within the next couple of weeks. Over the next few months, we called and reminded the rest that they still needed to file their tax returns.

October 15th is the real deadline. There are no more extensions. You have to file. No kidding. Add payroll tax deposits due on the 15th, sales tax due on the 20th (Monday & I won't be here Thursday or Friday), and regular payrolls that need to be done and you have today.

I will survive, and probably even smile again. But that will be tomorrow.

Back to work.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

What day is it?

I'm not sure what day it is, but I know that tomorrow is the for-real-extension deadline for filing tax returns. Lots of people have suddenly remembered they want a stimulus check and are bringing in their shoe boxes of receipts and check stubs. Bless their hearts.

Right now it is time for my 2:45 nap, so here I am.

I had my yearly physical, which I have about once every other year or two, and came out with a long list of tests I have to have in the next month. Ok, the next week. Thursday, I get to take a nuclear stress test, which is stressful just to say. Friday, I get a CT scan of my lungs, which are funky looking, but not sick, so please leave me alone already. I just hope I don't have to go see the damn pulmonologist who will charge me $100 to say, "It looks bad, but if it were as bad as it looks, you'd be really sick. You don't look sick."

Next week, I get to have a colonoscopy. Since I am the colonoscopy poster child, I'm really excited about this. Two uncles, two great aunts, and numerous first cousins once removed have died or are suffering from colon cancer. Since the act of having a colonoscopy nips the colon cancer in the bud (as it were) by removing polyps that might turn ugly, I'm all for it. Plus, I usually lose about 10 or 20 lbs and feel so liberated with my nice clean colon that I go on a healthy eating/ exercise plan that lasts until tax season. I'm looking forward to that!

Then, there is my mammogram and a follow up to my doctor to round out the fall. Then, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and TAX SEASON.

Boy, time flies.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Here we are

Has this fall been this busy? I can't say for sure I've accomplished anything, but I have been working hard. I think my medications are finally settled. I'm feeling better, less tired, less dizzy. Most days my brain works.

I am still facing a collage of to do lists from every part of my life. I need to finish tax returns, make phone calls, sign up for courses at the accounting office; I need to organize the report layout and answer some questions at the church; I need to e-mail all of the new board members and get started on the new board year at the school; I need to do SOMETHING with the middle school charter, even if it's just give it to someone else to do; I need to study for and take the business part of the Enrolled Agent Exam; I need to walk & eat better food; I need to crochet a Christmas stocking for Brendon; I need to read with Mark; I need to help Joseph apply for college; I need to spend time with my family and friends. I need to breath.

For now: payroll tax deposits. And a promise to write more often, even if I don't say anything.