Friday, April 8, 2011

Morning Pages

With eight days left in tax season (not counting Sundays which are feast days), I am having trouble focusing on what needs to be done now and spending time thinking about what I want to do after tax season.

For once, my son's spring break is after tax season.  We are taking a family trip the weekend after Easter, so we won't go out of town for spring break.  We have a long to do list --- chores, school work, chores; but we are including day trips to fun places.  The zoo, the State Museum, the Congaree Swamp, the book store...

I am very itchy right now.  I have a lot of work to do between now and April 18, including tax returns for FRIENDS who ALWAYS wait until the last minute (you know who you are) and payroll deposits and reports for everyone.  I want to go shopping for cute Easter stuff.  I want to plant some stuff.  I want to read a book that was not published by the Internal Revenue Service.

Oh well.  I'll make it, I have so far.  But then what?

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Who has the time?

A good friend said that she didn't understand bloggers.  She thought they must be the biggest bunch of narcissists in the universe.  I had to confess that I have three theoretically active blogs.  She looked at me and she said, "how do you have the time to do that?"

The answer is "I don't."  And you can see that by the sparseness of my blog entries.  I also don't have the commitment to writing everyday, no matter what.  I wish that meant that when I do write it's interesting and relevant, but we all know that's not true.  So why do I blog?  (Other than the narcissism thing.)

Well, I need to write.  I often write junk, whiny stuff, silly stuff, but I need to put the words that float through my brain on paper... or computer. 

"So why not write in a journal?"  she asks.  Excellent question.

I do.  I have lots of journals.  Some are spiral notebooks, some have pretty pictures, one is a large fake leather bound tome that I meant to make into a multi-media journal until I realized I'm a one trick pony.  I write.  Just the other day I picked up an old journal and started reading through it.

"This time I really will lose weight..." I wrote, over and over again.  I did notice that I've been having headaches and backaches for a couple of years now.  I don't know why I always think of that as a new thing...

When I write in a journal, I know I am writing to no one.  I don't even read it again, really.  Sometimes that is great.  Sometimes it's self-destructive rather than positive.  Sometimes it's just plain boring.

When I write on line, I know that someone might read it.  It might be someone I know, in which case I don't want to say anything to hurt any ones feelings or cause someone to sue me.  If I were really narcissistic I wouldn't mind getting sued because then people might find my blog... which is not a bad i...

That was scary.  Where do these things come from?

It is more likely that someone I don't know will read the blog.  And in that case, I'd like my whining to be universal, or at least galaxial.  I want to make sense to someone who is not me. 

When I write in the blog, I don't do a lot of editing (shocking, huh?) but I self-edit (also shocking).  It makes me think and not just react.  I have to put things down in a logical way, and that helps me think more logically.  I have to express ideas and options and other viewpoints, which makes me explore ideas and options and other viewpoints.

So when do I find the time to blog?  When I have to.  When do I find the time to read the blogs I follow?  When I need to.  And why do I blog?  I'm a narcissist, of course.  A whiny one at that.

Peace to you all & thank you for feeding my addiction.