Tuesday, June 30, 2009

And you thought Jerry Springer was making this up

My daughter-in-law's father's family belongs on Jerry Springer. They need a regular feature. Sadly, they may not be unique enough to make the cut.

In today's episode, sister Cathy & girlfriend Vivian have refused to allow the daughters to have any part in the "celebration of life" ceremony after they (FINALLY) cremate the father. Cathy says the daughters abused the grandparents (a lie of course). They will be tossing out ashes to all and sundry, but not the daughters.

Poor Katy is a mess, as are her sisters. While I couldn't give a rat's patooty about cremated ashes, they mean something to her. I would like to be able to help her, but feel pretty powerless.

I mean, I could go beat up the cow, but let's face it... she'd mop the floor with me. I already gave her the "freeze" (southern thing, I think) but she was such a dumb heffa she didn't notice. Legal action is possible, but how can it not end up sounding like Judge Judy? "I want my daddy's ashes." "You were a brat as a child so you can't get any."

I think one of those judges would set them straight after all. But that's not going to happen.

Bob says he doesn't want to make a judgement since he doesn't know both sides. I told him that there was a time for justice and empathy for the other side, but this wasn't it. It isn't our job to rule on who is right. It's our job to stand by Katy and glare at anyone who hurts her.

Maybe I need to write a book. There are lots of signs pointing me that way. Not the most recent but the most piercing was from a novel, that a writer is a person who actually sits down and writes. Puts in the time, takes the chance. Aside from the fact that I need to kill off a few dozen people who have been irritating the crap out of me for many years, I feel ready to take the chance. Maybe.


annie kelleher said...

write the book and remind your daughter in law that ashes are only ashes. her father's spirit is alive and well on the other side and the love they had, however imperfect it may have been, will endure forever. perhaps, if you really wanted to help her deal with her grief, encourage her, or even offer to host for her, a farewell ceremony of her own. personally i found the private farewell i said to my grandmother early on the morning of a sunny at my favorite spot on the ocean city beach far more meaningful than the silly public funeral. and yeah... write the book! :)

Martha said...

DIL's father's so called family and excuse for human beings are not good enough to wash to wash her socks.

Scumbags. If I practiced black juju, I would be preparing a pox on their house. I take comfort in the thought that their crappy karma will come back to kick their arses.
Excellent re. Annie's idea of a Goodbye ceremony for your DIL. We need to say goodbye, have closure, provide the release to let the curtain fall for awhile between us and our loved ones.

((Hugs)) and --{(@

Kim said...

I didn't think of that - if I actually take the time and sit down and write I could kill off a few people... Hmm!
Sorry for all the drama. Good thing she has such wonderful in-laws.