This morning I am taking my son to the dentist (regular check-up) and the doctor (ear ache.) I am not sure about making the poor baby get his teeth cleaned while his ear hurts, but who knows, maybe it will help.
This means: I am not at work. Not at Work 1 and not at Work 2. This means that tonight and tomorrow I will have MORE work, because no one else is going to do my work.
I realize that makes me sound like a bad mom. My poor child has dirty teeth and an ear ache, and all I think about is work. I would look down on myself, if that were physically possible.
My very fine counselor has suggested that I need to pass off some things. We were talking mostly about my wonderful teenage son who is very comfortable at home, not working, not going to school. The idea is that we need to make him less comfortable (in a loving way). It has been noted that this will be easier for me if I pass to my husband, who is pretty comfortable saying, "no, you can't have the car and twenty bucks."
I realize that when I look at my middle son, or my oldest, or just about anyone, I want to take them and solve their problems. I want to make a list of things to do, suggest alternatives, help them. I realize that 1) I can't solve the problems, 2) I get very stressed feeling that I need to solve every one's problems, and 3) I have trouble trusting people to take care of themselves.
And so: pass. I will pass the problems with the boys to Bob. I will just pass on the problems of every Tomasina, Dick, and Harriet that come into my life. I will listen without feeling responsible. Or at least, that is my intention.